Just That Girl

Alex. This name is a shorter definition for the word “egocentric.” I gave him everything that I had for a year. I lost my virginity to him. I risked my friendship for him. We’ve been to hell and back together. I love him with all my heart. But he’s no good for me. Alex is like alcohol, making me an alcoholic. He’s addictive, and whilst under the influence makes me do “bad” things. None of this had ever bothered him, however. Not until I got the test results back. Recently he took my heart, threw it on the ground, stapled on it and shattered it into millions of little tiny pieces. I got him warmed up to the idea of having either Hunter or Lauren, or so I’d thought. I had angered him to the point where he currently wants nothing to do with me. He said he’s done. Now I don’t know what to do. I’m still having his baby and whether Hunter Alexander or Lauren Nicole is aware, he loves his child… I think. Alex, why can’t you see I was just trying for us to be a family, now I’m crying every second. I need to get this off my chest. I love you and my baby. You’re going into the navy and i don’t know how I’ll handle raising our baby, but somehow I’ll survive. as if you cared. if you did you would’ve given me a second chance. but you left. just like that…

I am completely and utterly broken right down. The boy that I ahead over heals in love with has told me 2 hours ago that he’s done with me. I’m pregnant with his baby and he left me. I feel like he stabbed me in the heart. I’ve never felt like this before. what am I supposed to tell my baby when he’s born ? that his father just abandoned him? I can’t do that. I still love him and I hope he’ll change his mind. I just don’t know if I’ll be here when he changes his mind.. he’s leaving for the navy in June.. I just don’t know what to do.